fall off your own two feet

it is fascinating how much cruising happens at the barnes and noble in New Town. I have counted four guys that have been all about each other, but not made the connection. This why i should never be off work, because i get nothing done. save for stalking strangers.

Please join the renegade homos of Williamsburg and their respective (respectable?) ladies as we watch some Top Chef. Green Leafe New Town, 9pm. New Episode at 10.

There will be beer, and nachos. And hoes. Well maybe not hoes.

firstly, updates are needed all around.

he lived

yeah. it needed to happen. i will post something real this week, right now i am going for creature comforts

new impact, new trajectory. my mother's message regarding staying out of the wind, storms to come whatnot. seemingly innocent, yet potent as an arsons kiss. thanks be to lee, and to aves and Tdubbs for an amazing evening at the national in richmond. and to the cutie grrl with camera who recorded this for us to swarm around:



what you don;t know is that right in front of that speaker stands yours truly and his gaggle.

i would apologize for the rest of this entry, but i am treating this like a twelve step. i just need to get this out, and say it. without response, please. and that is not out of avarice. i have nothing left to be proud of at this point. only creature comforts.

i am sure that i am the LAST to know this, but regardless, here is my happy thought:

//stolen from some webpage containing an interview\\

Q: I won't give away the ending to Son Of A Witch but would you ever write a novel carrying on from where it left off?
darkmusic

Gregory Maguire: Yes, it's in my nap-sack right now (points to it). It's coming out in the States this autumn and I think the title is going to be A Lion Among Men, and it starts off about eight years after the end of Son of a Witch.

as in autumn 2008.

HAR, shall we dance?

firstly- wedding planning is not my career calling. though the hospitality industry in general may prove not to be my calling either, i am relatively stable at work and enjoying myself despite some more interesting shifts.

secondly, HAR your cd was illuminating. i look forward to giving you my part of the dialogue. your berfday was mad fun and I am totally crushing on erin.

thirdly, the ghost of boyfriends' past and future lurks about these parts again. hot chocolate, i thoroughly enjoyed our dinner last night and avidly look forward to the next.

for the rest of you outlaws, god bless your queer hearts.

xoxo
-d/g

well firstly, thanks be to he gods of beer for another fabulous st patty's. no heavy emotional scarring this year and only a few bumps. success, if you will.

almost done purging my system of the boy. what's the best way to get one taste out of your mouth? to go on the prowl.

unfortunately, shortly after declaring this, my life became night of the living ex-boyfriends, including cameos from two rarely sighted myths. one of whom i am glad to know is not in fact dead or in california as he is smoking hot, the other i am sending squishy vibes of optimism that his situation improves quickly.

no big travel plans upcoming, april is gonna be obnoxious. my boss keeps asking when do i plan to take time off from work and i usually just laugh because whenever i leave the building burns down.

::sigh::

no moping today tho, too much to do.

xoxo

Top Chef- Green Leafe New Town @ 10pm

you want it!

mm, i love when i get to work and the entire universe has reordered itself in the span of three, 3!, days. i mean, i love a good adventure as much as the next, but really? is my job drama because it is MY job, or is it drama regardless of who the cast is?

weird dreams again last night. no houses this time though. mud, definitely. and bodies grappling. no angels, no recognizable faces. woke up like my name had been called. like sleeping in class wake up. kind of throws the whole day off, if you follow.

little upset with the girls. by girls i mean my two gay amigos, the sisterhood if you will. one is selling himself short, the other is overpriced goods. and in the place i am right now, it is hard for me to emotionally engage in either struggle. maybe it is my usual seasonal friend overturn. the further i get from the point of impact, the clearer the trajectory becomes.

HAR- i am sorry i did not make it. my car needs brakes and a tire. and i really can't afford either for a while. but i do want to see you. and get drunk in your room. i think we both need that sometimes.

well, one year passed. i have accomplished little of what i set out to do. i am uncertain as to whether that is due to my own unreliability, my own incapability, or the unreliable nature of key players in this drama. which i will not make a soliloquy of.if there is one thing i am proud of it is that i have lost a lot of pride. i am no longer as haughty or judgmental as i once was. perhaps it is more humiliated than humbled but regardless-

i would like to take a poll though. a close friend recently tried to read my palm and could not get past the first observation. supposedly, i am a VERY jealous person. this was a bit of a shock for me as i feel that i am not. would you guys describe me as jealous?

perhaps it is more of this discovery process which i have never subscribed or really excelled at.

the beard is gone. back to my old face. i was hoping i wouldn't see him in the mirror anymore, but he is still there. to reconcile myself with truth rather than discover it, perhaps that is a better goal.

well loves, i am off to listen to courtney singing my heart out. st patty's day plans in motion. i will post the schedule of silly soon enough.

happy belated birthday p-chan!

Never gonna be the same
And if you wanted water
And if you wanted food
And if you want shelter
I can not come over to you
And if you want love now
Or a needle and a spoon
You gotta show a little faith in me baby i can't come over to you
It's never gonna be the same

FYI:

this morning, i awoke into the strangest dream. You and i were chasing each other through the house i might someday build for you or some other twinling (though i doubt he will be as you are, smell as you do, or fit inside the cup of my heart just so)

and the rooms! It seems we ran some kind of school, or artist residency, and in one room there were tables and meals were served, and in the next there were pillows in the strangest sand colors and all the rooms had windows that gaped for light, pulling the world in. forest bound on all sides, the house wrapped lovingly around three sides of a courtyard banked against a pond. And there were these giant fish that kept jumping at the chain-link trying to squeeze their way in as you found me in the yard and threw me into the mud. And i remember seeing tree frogs the size of labradors, and i am struggling against your chest and the mud and everyone is watching from the windows and then i wake into the real world, your scent fleeting.

I miss you. don't give up on me.

dammit. I want 100K for shaking my ass like a fool. where is gay step team :(

here are some things, none of which i find uberuseful, but perhaps you can make them worthwhile.

sometimes i think you wake up in knotted sheets not out of forgotten adolescent habits but instead out of the tender virtue of crumbling stability. when i was a little kid i would build bird nests out of my mickey mouse sheets, stealing afghans and scratchy blue blankets to line the walls of this perfect sleeping place where i could lay down in any direction and feel something different but still comforting. my dad would come to wake me up for school before he left for work and he would find the most accessible body part and squeeze (usually my foot or shoulder). i would wander into the dining room and he'd let me have coffee which i drink in the same fashion as him. he'd leave before the light came up and i would sit at the table and do my homework till the bus came. my sister would sometimes join us, but she much preferred the extra sleep. my mom would be with us for a few minutes, but she had to leave for school or she would be coming in from third shift at the hospital. and the downtime was perfect.

all flowers fade when they dry. and paintings get bleached by the sun. green leaves are made more beautiful when they blaze once and fall. no sculpture is as beautiful till time rubs against it. least the way i see it. everything needs some wabi-sabi, some footprint or paint-scar. to prove that it lives, that it lived, that it died a little bit each day and was born into the next when morning comes and grabs your foot and pulls you from the nest.

like sheep

Lets101 - free dating

wine night= morning ickiness. remodeling has begun at work. the dining room is tore all to hell, but it should be over soon.

i am not going to be able to escape the burg confines this weekend, i will have to postpone my trip home till the weekend of the 8th.

sexy lunch date with kaytay later. really stoked. and then little miss emmy is coming to town and i fear she is gonna go bridal on me. i seriously might start my own business next year doing this. i feel with the band of mos i have now, we could take over the world.

well, work calls. ciao